AN UPDATE ON CHRIS

CHRIS SAYS HELLO TO EVERYONE!

CHRIS' AUSTRALIA.

FUCKING BEAUTIFUL.

"Typhoon 8 in HK," I typed into my and Chris' Whatsapp window.

"Oooh... day off work?" he asked. He would have been up for hours already. Canberra is three hours ahead of Hong Kong, besides. And he bikes to work every day. He's always been an early riser, a creature I often consider alien-esque: The Morning Person.

"Only if T8 warning is still up by 2pm," I replied. "Would have been nice to have you here so we can sleep in together... I'd go right back to sleep to dream about you."

OK, so that last bit felt particularly sappy, even I wanted to bitch slap myself.

"Sweet" is not the first thing that comes to mind when I think about Chris. He's sweet in his own way, sure, but he's not all about warm, fuzzy words or grand gestures. He's a rock who lets you know, every day, through consistent and predictable actions, that he loves you and cares about you. I inadvertently regret being too sweet with Chris because he's kinda gruff and and, I suspect, a bit embarrassed about the very public ways I show and proclaim my love for him.

His reply:

"Mwah! Too long between snuggles xxx"

I was stunned.

Has some sappy spirit inhabited Chris' body?! Did he really manage to squeeze a bit of sweetness out for me?

Maybe it's the distance.

Maybe it's Australia.

When you're surrounded by nature's majestic beauty, wouldn't it just suck to have nobody to share it with?

"Love you!!!" I typed furiously. I wasn't about to let go of the moment. "A typhoon fuck would have been so nice! Miss you so bad!!!! Guess I'll have to wait 'til we see each other again at the end of September!"

"Yes, please!"

THE #FITNOTFAT WERQOUT™

THE #FITNOTFAT OUTDOOR WERQOUT™
WITH FAB FITNESS TRAINER, J BRIDGE HUDSON.

WE'RE SO NOT SHOWING OUR BICEPS OFF - STOP!
WE'RE SHOWING OFF OUR MATCHING HIS-AND-HIS PARA'KITO WRISTBANDS. 

GETTING #FITNOTFAT IS A PROPER ENDEAVOR.

HYPERACTIVE'S #FITNOTFAT OUTDOOR WERQOUT™ ESSENTIALS:

* LIFETRONS' SUPER SEXY PORTABLE SPEAKERS,
TO BLAST UPLIFTING GOSPEL HOUSE IN HI-DEF STEREO SOUND

* MEDICINE BALL,
FOR POWERED-UP BOOTY PUMPS AND PUSH-UPS

* PARA'KITO WRISTBAND AND CLIP
TO KEEP ME FOCUSED ON GETTING #FITNOTFAT,
NOT ON SCRATCHING MOSQUITO BITES!

I got a truckload of birthday presents this year - THANK YOU. I do love prezzies and can't imagine throwing a birthday party that says "No presents, please." I mean?!? It's fun to give and receive! That's also why I don't believe in people who say they're Top Only or Bottom Only - but let's save that for another blog entry.

This year, I thought I'd give myself a present, too.

I signed up for personal training with my dear friend, Bridge, who also happens to be the 2012 Mr Gay HK 1st Runner-up. I'm tired of being fat, especially when I have to stand for photos in the middle of my Mr Gay HK winners! So I decided to get #fitnotfat.

We have a lot of fun, Bridge and myself. We're both extroverts; outdoor exercise suits us much better. And we werqout later in the evening, since we're both frighteningly busy. We gossip a lot. It's fun having the non-threatening presence (as opposed to predatory 99% of the time) of another gay man, with whom to decompress and just process the day's events.  No judgment. Just two, strong, black women - gabbing.

We gab whilst we roll out my IT band - that tough group of fibers that run along the outside of the thigh. We gab whilst doing squats, lunges, chest passes - any exercise that doesn't require me to focus on counting or on some belabored breathing. I'm only ever quiet when I jump rope or do push-ups or burpees (yuck).

Unfortunately, whilst we gab, mosquitoes feast. The mozzies at Sun Yat Sen Park are notoriously huge, bloodthirsty suckers. Half the time, I was either clapping mosquitoes dead or scratching at the big, angry bites. The next day, I came prepared with a bottle of mosquito repelling spray and some ointment to rub on inflamed bites. I did the whole ointment thing all over again after I showered. My body was riddled with spots - battle scars from my war against mosquitos. I went to bed, defeated.

Enter Plug PR to the rescue, with a care package from Para'Kito. The mosquitoes are... nowhere. Don't see them. I've been a happy camper since then because all I have to do to get myself #fitnotfat is get into my werqout clothes. I have my wristband on all-day anyway, and my bag is similarly clipped. I've got a "protective shield" around me.

"It smells nice," Bridge noted.

"Citronella, I think."

"I don't even feel like I stink post-werqout coz I've got this beautiful smell around me."

"Well, that's not an excuse not to wear deodorant..."

"I used to not wear deodorant when I had a desk job and wouldn't need to be out on meetings."

"Really?"

"Yeah... It's tough to find a vegan deo. Most have harmful chemicals."

"In the Philippines, you could get tawas... I don't know what it's called in English... It looks like a rock..."

"A crystal - yeah I've seen it!"

And so forth. We mouth ourselves off for hours and hours. Meanwhile, I'm getting a good werqout in. It might be tough to believe this, coming from bossy, old me - but working on my physical shell is also doing wonders for my soul.

I celebrated my birthday last week, surrounded by the beautiful, amazing people who have made this Hyperactive Hong Kong life so meaningful.

It has been eight years since I first got here.

And I feel like I've only just begun.

DARK CHOCOLATE!

B3: BRUNO, BENJIE & BRIDGE

CHEERS TO #HYPR!

WITH MY BELOVED AD

AT MR GAY HK'S MEDIA MEET & GREET AND SEND-OFF PARTY FOR MR GAY WORLD

(L-R): RYE BAUTISTA, ANNA ADASIEWICZ, EMMA HAMMONDS, #HYPR,
LEGGY MODEL LAURA FROM GERMANY, AND HELENA CHAN OF ASIA'S NEXT TOP MODEL

PARTY POLA!

 

// WE START OUT WALKING 

AND LEARN TO RUN! //

BABYFACE feat. MARIAH CAREY // EVERY TIME I CLOSE MY EYES

"Three months..." Chris squinted in concentration, trying to remember the exact date he left Hong Kong for Canberra.

"THREE MONTHS!?!" I wailed in typical overdramatic fashion. "Feels like it's been six!!"

"Three months and two weeks, to be exact," he exhaled, finally focusing an unblinking gaze towards me.

I know that look; I know that tone of voice. He's doing his best not to cause me any more distress. But he's also laying the situation out to me sans sweeteners.

"Nine more months to go," I sulked, "enough time to get pregnant and have a baby."

Before he left Hong Kong to take on a job in Canberra, Chris and I agreed we'd give the new set-up a try for up to a year. And when that year is up, we'd then decide how - and where - to physically be together again. I might move to Oz, he might move back to Hong Kong, we might even move to another city where we're both able to find promising jobs.

MY ADVANCED BIRTHDAY DINNER
SPAGHETTI + A BIT OF BUBBLY

Chris has been back to visit me twice since he moved. Not bad; could be worse; not gonna complain. I didn't even mind the first two months, to be honest. I quite enjoyed my new-found independence. But for some reason, the third month has been especially trying.

"Nights are the hardest," I mumbled, not even bothering to set the table. Chris is visiting all of one day, this time around. He arrived late Friday night and was scheduled to leave early Sunday morning. I intended to milk every second of his visit, which meant not wasting time on a fabulous table setting. Besides, dinner's just takeaway spaghetti from Il Bel Paese - in gorgeous microwavable containers, of course. "I come home after an eventful day, brimming with stories - but I haven't got you here to share them with!"

Chris didn't hear me. Modern Family was on; he had ducked into the study to dig something out of his suitcase.

It was a small package, paper-wrapped by Cathay's multi-talented flight attendants.

"Happy Birthday," Chris said, simply.

I had forgotten.

I'm so horrible with birthdays, I've come to forget mine, even.

"Sweetbean!!!" I squealed. I ripped the paper off, revealing a gray leather case that contained two, sexy, portable, metallic speakers. Almost in unison, the cork popped off of a bottle of bubbly.

We enjoyed our fabulous, gourmet dinner. We laughed with the Modern Family 'til our bellies hurt. And by 11pm, we were both in bed.

He was up at 6am, gathering his stuff for a 9am flight to Sydney. He was getting ready to work through a mountain of post-workshop paperwork from a just-concluded consulting gig in Sri Lanka. I could tell he intended to be productive through the long flight to Sydney and the three-and-a-half-hour long bus ride to Canberra.

At around 4.30pm, my Whatsapp flashed with a message from Chris.

"Got an early bus! Arrive in Canberra at 11.30pm instead of 12.30am, hooray! Happy birthday week, sweetheart. Sorry I couldn't spend all of it with you."

***

Every Time I Close My Eyes is the first track - and the biggest hit - in Babyface's album, The Day. It was nominated for a Best Male Pop Vocal Performance in the 1997 Grammy's, eventually losing to Elton John's Candle in the Wind.

The Day was one of only two CDs I always had playing in the background on my first year of university. The other one was The Look of Love by Diana Krall. I came to terms with being gay whilst listening to these two CDs on endless loop. I was 16 - desperate to fall in love.

Every time I close my eyes, I imagined what being in love might be like.

Finally, I know.

JAMES + CHRIS

  

// THE HYPERACTIVE GAY BOY™ //

 

CAN WE JUST STOP & TALK AWHILE?

The last week wasn't just a whirlwind of Hyperactive events; it was an HI (10) Tornado, where Hyperactive Intensity is calculated as follows:

HI = DW / NEo x nSH

(NEo +/+ NEp) A ^ S

That's days of the week (7) divided by number of events organized (2), multiplied by net sleeping hours (5).

The most volatile variable here, of course is NEo, which isn't always indicative of NEp (number of events participated in). In most cases, NEo and NEp are inversely proportional. After all, DW (days of the week) is a constant. The more events you organize, the less time you have to allocate to events you participate in. In my case, however, NEo and NEp are directly proportional - especially since nSH follows the Law of Diminishing Returns. It's only by keeping NEo and NEp parallel on the HI graph am I able to keep producing the amounts of A (adrenaline) required to secure a high S (success) rate.

THE QUEEN'S SILVER

BEFORE HK1K
AN EMPTY OPEN-AIR LOT

DURING HK1K
WITH MODEL HELENA CHAN
AND COLUMNIST YALUN TU IN THE BACK

AFTER HK1K
AFTER-PARTY AT MAGNUM

I organized HK1K, HK Mag's 1,000th issue pop-up "Hong Kong Hipsters" block party, on an empty lot in Fashion Walk. The event required the support of over 20 brand partners, over 100 support staff (technicians, stage managers, gophers, security, chefs, waiters and bartenders, door bitches, interns, photographers... and so on), managed through 5 Google Docs (guest list, contact sheet, rundown, budget, script and show flow), and mobilized via 5 buses, to pull off.

It wasn't perfect, but it was awesome. I think I did awesome... I'm my own biggest critic. So many things could have gone wrong. But so many things were OK, I'm tearful with gratitude to everyone who had in hand in making it a success. Also, my mom's 9-day novena before the event obviously worked! Thank you Mommy, and thank you God.

KEEP IT MOVIN'!

MANILA

KARE-KARE

HYPERACTIVE AND A BEVY OF BEAUTIFUL AUNTIES

#HYPRFAMOUSFLOORS
THE PENTHOUSE IN THE GREEN LOUNGE
ORTIGAS, MANILA

WITH MY BEAUTEOUS BABY SISTER, LOREN

As if that wasn't enough, I had an 8am flight to Manila immediately following HK1K, for Destination, I Do! - the highly conceptual wedding of my cousin, Mark, to his lady love, Abbey.

Upon my arrival in Manila, my youngest sister, Loren, speed-ironed my barong Tagalog and dress pants whilst I greedily gulped honey lemon water, multivitamins and a whole pot of kare-kare. I knew I had to make an effort to be fit for public consumption. I was hoarse, exhausted and sleepy, which is unfair because my family deserves to have the best of Hyperactive.

The wedding invites were mock passports, the guest cards were baggage tags, the tables' centerpieces were each inspired by a dreamy destination, the cake was a stack of luggages rendered in fondant, and of course, the entire thing was MC'd by Hyperactive. At one point, I had to grab my cousin, Boyang, to share hosting duties. I was simply too hoarse to be coherent. It would suck for Mark and Abbey look back to their wedding reception and remember only that I sounded like a broken accordion.

Luckily the happy couple seemed to guess that I might be at less than my usual 150%, and so they had a Starbucks concession especially licensed to operate at their wedding reception. They're coffee lovers, you see. Naturally, they want their guests to have free access to a caffeine fix. Of course.   

I got back to the hotel at 1.30am, by which time I figured it'd be futile to sleep and risk missing my 7am flight back to Hong Kong. In Manila, if something could go wrong, it will. So my sister, Loren and I, simply called for massages.

I was back in Hong Kong less than 24 hours after I left - too exhausted to even be aghast at the explosion of event detritus all over my flat.

BACK IN HK,
LAUNDRY AND A MESSY FLAT YELLED FOR ATTENTION.

DID ALL THAT JUST FUCKING HAPPEN?!

Clearly, there had just been a Hyperactive Intensity 10 Tornado.

I dutifully scrubbed and laundered and sprayed and cleaned.

Last Thursday was dinner with the British Consul General. Next Thursday is the Guest List event at Volume HEAT. And then Mr Gay HK's send-off for Mr Gay World, and my birthday. Somewhere in there, I have to squeeze a reading for The Maids. And I mustn't forgo my regular workouts, of course, because Chris is arriving next week.

July is stupid!

I am sleepless, restless and running purely on adrenaline.

And I'm still going.

Where I'm now pulling energy from, I can't even tell any more.

Can we just stop and talk a while?

FUNNILY ENOUGH, THIS SONG WAS USED FOR A COFEE TVC DECADES AGO...

 

// GET HYPERACTIVE! //

A TALE OF TWO QUEENS

HK PR NETWORK & LES PECHES' CO-FOUNDER, PINK ALLIANCE CENTRAL COMMITTEE'S BETTY GRISONI
LGBT QUEEN BEE

(WITH GEORGE THE CRUSADER)

DESIGNER, LADYLIT PUBLISHER & GAY DAYS ASIA'S CAROLINE MANCHOULAS
 AKA 'QUEENIE'

"Gays are the world's most evolved creatures," my trainer, Bridge, purred. "We exist purely for pleasure."

"Mmm," I concurred, breathing into a stretch. "We do love beautiful things... pretty people, art, fashion, design, travel..."

"We're at a different level than everyone else, though," Bridge frowned slightly, pulling my hands further back and pressing my shoulders down. "We seek to pleasure ourselves only. On the other end of the continuum, there are the lesbians..."

"...who value sacrifice and pain and selflessness," I finished. "That's 'coz they're women," I reasoned. "They've all got a motherhood instinct that's magnified especially when they don't have kids. They just mother everything else."

I can't claim to be a Lesbian Expert, although I have claimed many times to be a closeted lesbian. I love them. The way they smell. The way plain talk masks their surprisingly sweet demeanor. The way they're shockingly perfect hostesses, they'd put Martha Stewart to shame.

Last Saturday, I overdosed on lesbian love. It started at Roddy's, with a birthday dinner for Caro. The pungent aroma of cheeses wafted into my nostrils as I knocked on the door. Caro and her wife, Lore, had just returned from a rainbow tour of key cities in the United States' west coast.

"LA was so fake," Lore grimaced. "People were happy and energetic all the time, it made me sick! I suddenly missed Hong Kong. Here, people are rude and grumpy - just like in Belgium!"

I first met Caro and Lore at the 2010 Mr Gay HK Grand Finale. They had just moved to Hong Kong. I can't any more remember the exact circumstances, but I think Caro might have even zipped immediately to the pageant as soon as she got off of a plane... The girls have since entrenched themselves onto the scene, most notably as co-founders of LadyLit - a publishing house that specializes in lesbian erotica.

My partner, Chris, has always been better friends with the girls who, for the most part, have been surrounded by an impenetrable phalanx of gay men collectively known as The Dames: Judy, Helen, Maggie. In this nuclear family, Lore was nicknamed Jason (after the guy who recorded Especially for You with Kylie Minogue). Caro was called Queenie - the group's proverbial curtsy, I'm guessing, to the their unofficial, unelected monarch. There's a highly nuanced network of relationships at play that, in my constantly Hyperactive state, I've failed to understand. I've always felt inadequate and unfocused and stupid next to such intelligent people. Nevertheless the girls and the dames have been nothing but kind to me, especially whenever they'd hear that Chris is away on a work trip.

"Join us for Caro's birthday dinner at Roddy's on Saturday," Johan invited me on Whatsapp. "I'm making roast spring chicken!"

Eight beautiful, golden birds marched smartly out of Roddy's oven. My mouth instantly watered.

"Virgins," Johan promised. "None have ever laid a single egg."

I dug my fingers into the flesh, my teeth ravenously ripping crisp skin and succulent meat apart. Within minutes, I had nothing on my plate but a pile of dry bones. My mouth quivered with exquisite pleasure.

It was a feast fit for a queen.

In stark contrast, Betty's birthday party at LINQ was akin to a street carnival. Betty, co-founder of Les Peches and an all-around picture of PR perfection (just ask the HK PR Network regulars), presided over festivities that had the hoi polloi virtually bathing in champagne down the historic Pottinger steps.

Betty's wife, Abby, came along with dense slices of cake. I grabbed a piece and immediately plunged my face into its irresistible deliciousness. I slathered thick coats of icing down my bare chest, all too aware of the flurry flashbulbs popping to capture my antics.

Hedonism was everywhere.

If this is what selflessness, pain and sacrifice is all about, sign me up.

God Save the Queens!

    

// THE HYPERACTIVE GAY BOY™ //

THE CARDIGANS // YOU'RE THE STORM

If I were to compile my coming-of-age soundtrack, it'd have Simply Red's Fairground, George Michael and Mary J Blige's As, Janet Jackson's Together Again, the Spice Girls' Say You'll Be There, and The Cardigans' Lovefool.

The Cardigans,  a Swedish band formed in 1992, skyrocketed to fame when director Baz Luhrmann picked Lovefool for the soundtrack of William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet. I  instantly took to the song's chorus - Love me, love me! Say that you love me! - because it captured my own need for constant affirmation. I lived for moments when the music video would come out on MTV or when the DJ at my local radio station would finally respond to my endless requests to play it again.

I haven't heard anything from The Cardigans since then.

I woke up today with a craving for music I grew up with, which led me to Long Gone Before Daylight (2003), The Cardigans' comeback album after a five-year hiatus. You're the Storm is the first track. I can only describe it as mellow Europop / rock / country. It has a haunting quality to it - a soaring melody coupled with an undercurrent of malevolent strumming.

SORSOGON

 // CHRIS. //

OLIVIA NEWTON JOHN & CLIFF RICHARD // SUDDENLY

I MISS...

SAI KUNG

// CHRIS. //

BREAKOUT

I've been trying to write a piece on DJ Stonedog's Big Gay Anthem [Club Remixes], which landed on iTunes last Saturday. But it's hard for me to find honest, supportive words without first drawing attention to a little detail that has been niggling at me as soon as I received the press kit.

DJ Stonedog is known in real life as Evan of "Joseph and Evan," one of the great partnerships without whom Hong Kong's LGBT scene wouldn't be what it is now. The pair established the original Volume nightspot in 2006 - the very place Chris and I first set eyes on each other. (Yes, I fell in love as I passed him by, on my way to the loo.)

Joseph Chan has always been the "brick and mortar" half - the partner whom guests could count on to run the venue, deal with unreliable staff, look after drunk gay boys, appease the neighbours and keep the omnipresent cops at bay with assurances that we are behaving. And if we're clearly not, we will. Fingers crossed. Joseph takes responsibility - and liability - as Managing Director of Volume Concepts.

Meanwhile, the multi-titled, multi-parenthetical, multi-slashed, multi-tasking and multi-talented Evan Steer - mercifully known to me just by the economical nickname, "Ev," - has always been the half who made sure we'd do exactly the opposite of what Joseph promised the neighbours and the cops we'd do. He's the camp, colourful and loud half. He created that unique universe of "fun, friendship and occasional fuck" we now recognize as hallmarks of our Volume experience.

We flocked on New Arrival Wednesdays for the free vodka. We glammed it up for the annual Magenta Ball. We partied all night 'til we were finally ready to Rock the Boat at Floatilla. Superstar showgirl-slash-recording artist La Chiquitta heralded an era of drag fabulousness from her Magenta throne, with Drag It On and the annual Drag Overdose charity event. Ev pulled strings behind the scenes up to a point where it was no longer humanly possible to stitch all these into who Evan Steer is, even with a splashy Creative Director title.

He was a Prospero of sorts, conjuring parties and international acts and marquee DJs to come to Volume. He whipped the crowd into a constant state of of frenzy from his perch on the DJ booth, with an artillery of unrepentant, take-me-as-I-am handbag and sing-along anthems enough for 1,978 lifetimes, wired onto a pair of obnoxiously huge, gold headphones (me = jealous) which would later become his signature. DJ Stonedog had finally broken through as a public persona - replete with an in-house record label called Volume Up Records.

In 2010, DJ Stonedog released his debut album, Club Anthems Asia - an epic, two-CD set magnum opus, for which I did a filler track called "Nothing Yet." It was scheduled to launch at a humongous event hall - AsiaWorld Expo, if I remember correctly. What I don't any more remember is the reason it got nixed and relocated back to good, old Volume, instead. Everybody showed up to support, including featured artists from Singapore, Australia, the Philippines, and only God knows where else. It was a big night for the Asian gay club scene. I was thankful to have played a small part in it, and I was extraordinarily proud of my dear friend, Ev.

Last year, I invited him to join the celebrity panel of judges tasked with selecting the 2013 Mr Gay HK.

DJ STONEDOG, HK MAGAZINE'S MANAGING EDITOR SARAH FUNG, STYLIST PRISCILLA I'ANSON,
ACTRESS / PRODUCER / BLOGGER / ACTIVIST ANGIE PALMER,  AND PINK ALLIANCE CHAIRMAN REGGIE HO. 

From just a single nightspot, Volume has grown into a brand with many distinct experiences: HEAT is a Thai-Viet bar / restaurant / gallery; BEAT is a club that's also a platform for the record label and branded live events;  and Cafe Queen is Volume's screamingly hysterical answer to Starbucks. As a collective, Volume Concepts' presence in Sheung Wan has officially turned the district into Hong Kong's Gay Ghetto. Oh Em Gee, get the PR machines rolling! We're so mainstream! Forget Spartacus; call The Hyperactive Gay Boy™! Get me Trip Advisor. Get me Travel + Leisure. Fucking get me Conde Nast!

So here's what's been disturbing me all along.

Everybody, including myself, thinks that "Joseph and Evan" - inadvertently mentioned in one breathe up to this moment, though no longer romantically linked as a couple - are a winning team. Sure, they bicker about operational issues and brand philosophy - so what? We hear all about it from everyone, all the time. It's not news when we know we'll wake up to another party weekend with more of this reliable, comforting sense of same-ness.

Except when I got the press kit for the Big Gay Anthem re-release, I immediately noticed the absence of Volume's logo on the album artwork (though the iTunes preview page still indicates ℗ 2013 Volume Up Records).

NOT JUST ANYBODY'S HANDBAG;
IT'S DJ STONEDOG'S.

Is this a hint of another breakout moment from Ev - this time, of DJ Stonedog breaking free from the increasingly defined parameters of a brand he has created, defined and embodied?

Why a re-release? And why now? The press kit says:

Just in time for Pride 2013! Hong Kong's most prolific gay circuit star DJ STONEDOG re-releases his 2012 collaboration with Dutch producer MATT POP: "Big Gay Anthem" with a slew of updated new remixes from UK's 7th's Heaven's new pop alias STARLAB, as well as remixes from WAYNE G & LFB, DJ SANTOS (USA), BRIAN CUA (Philippines) and lots more!

There's a couple of very noteworthy collaborations in there. This wasn't just a business-as-usual, let's-put-one-out-just-coz-we-gotta type of affair. Ev clearly worked overtime to make this re-release worthwhile. The cuts still showcase DJ Stonedog's  energy and frivolity and love for high camp, but now, there's more focus on high rather than on camp. Instead of giving us a thick, fat wad of gum that gets harder to chew as the night progresses, there are just (and I can't even believe I'm about to use this word) subtle throwbacks to our no-such-thing-as-too-much-Kylie days on Volume's dance floor. Enough for us to remember, but also fresh and thrilling and new enough to inspire us to dance even harder.

Something tells me DJ Stonedog didn't need a fuck-off pair of gold headphones to put this one together. There's a maturity and depth and complexity that transcends cosmetic flourishes or veneers. This makes for delicious listening many times over. Each time, a new layer of sound is revealed.

Welcome to your breakout season with the new Stonedog.

GET IT!

THE HYPERACTIVE GAY BOY™

MORNING IN CHEUNG SHA, HONG KONG'S GAY HAMPTONS

Cheung Sha is a different beach in the morning. Quieter, but also more volatile. No shrieks from obnoxious tourists; just the sound of waves crashing at a higher tide. No beefcakes and babes replicating the Wyndham nightlife corridor mating ritual; just babies and mums and dads and dogs out for a peaceful, playful morning walk. 

Emma, Chris and I enjoyed a little, morning dip. The waves were Hyperactive (natch), pulling my shorts off of my waist a couple of times. And then another wave would whip them right off again before I could pull them back up. I hope my bumbling efforts to stay decent at least made adequate entertainment for the bored lifeguards.

Hi, guys! Save me!

Squeee!!!

 

// THE HYPERACTIVE GAY BOY™ //

TECHNOTRONIC // PUMP UP THE JAM

Spending the weekend in Cheung Sha beach with Chris and my non-sexual wife, Emma. We figured if we were gonna be attacked by a tropical rainstorm, we might as well be trapped some place pretty. Fine sand, gently rolling surf, lots of trees, old village houses, gorgeous residents... Such a pretty patch on Planet Earth, Cheung Sha is. The only thing more arresting than the picturesque setting is the battalion of impossibly sculpted bodies on the beach. My dear friend, Paul, a PR maverick, calls Cheung Sha "The Gay Hamptons."

Chris and Emma ran off for a little dip after lunch. I wanted to do so, too. And after three intense training sessions under the watchful guidance of Bridge Hudson (2012 Mr Gay HK 1st Runner-up), I was hopeful I'd have enough confidence to frolic shirtless along the beach.

Not just yet.

Five minutes in front of the full length mirror and countless selfies later, I'm still not convinced that my body's fit enough for public consumption, in spectacularly perfect Cheung Sha.

Soon. We're werqin' on it.

Soon.


Yo! 
Pump up the jam pump it up 
A pump it up yo pump it 
Pump up the jam pump it up 
A pump it up yo pump it 
Pump up the jam pump it up 
A pump it up yo pump it Pump up the jam 
Pump it pump it pump it pump it, 
Yo!

  

// THE HYPERACTIVE GAY BOY™ //

BYE-BYE, PSYCHIC JACK.

HYPERACTIVE + CHRIS

REQUIEM FOR PSYCHIC JACK

I remember Psychic Jack well for one particular reason. The weekend they scheduled their series of launch events was the same weekend I had scheduled the inaugural edition of Mr Gay Hong Kong to take place.

I was livid. I had of course announced my pageant many months prior. But PJ's PR claimed that the owners were unaware that Mr Gay Hong Kong had already claimed the date.

I felt like a big, commercial bully was taking advantage by piggybacking on the popularity of the the weekend I had tried so hard to build up. After all, the owners of PJ also own Propaganda which, to this day, is the only gay club in Hong Kong. I was small fry.

That's why at first, I was skeptical when the PR called to request a meeting with me, on behalf of PJ's owners. What for, I wondered, and and what bargaining chip do I really have? All I had was an event which, granted, held a lot of promise. But it didn't seem to me like my date mattered any which way for businessmen who have been operating LGBT-oriented businesses for decades. Theoretically, they could do as they wish without much further consideration toward context.

But much as I had erected a fortress of hostility, I was immediately disarmed by Steven's and Lawrence's (PJ's owners) authenticity. They seemed sincere with their explanation that they simply didn't realize a major event had already been scheduled, months ago, to happen on the same weekend. They were sorry, they said, for not having done the first thing they should have: Check the LGBT calendar. If I was interested, they asked, could they perhaps offer every Mr Gay HK ticket holder a complimentary entrance to Psychic Jack? They'd then function as MGHK's de facto after-party venue.

I was caught off guard. Until then, I hadn't even considered doing an after-party - much less, adding value to every purchase made by ticket holders to my event.

I agreed.

From then on, MGHK and PJ have had a symbiotic relationship. PJ hosted the launch of Pink Dot HK, the 8th anniversary of Fruits in Suits, and even Benjie's (Mr Gay HK 23013) birthday party. It has been easy. Drama-free. Steven, Lawrence and Joe (venue manager) have been complete sweethearts.

I received the news of PJ's impending closure with not a small amount of melancholy. I'd be hard-pressed to identify any other businessmen who have invested as much into the local LGBT community as Steven and Lawrence have. Apart from supporting MGHK, they also have been loyal advertisers in Dim Sum Magazine and anchor sponsors of the HK Lesbian and Gay Film Festival. They're proper pillars of the community.

"It's a sign that people care," noted Steve Freeman, erstwhile publisher of HK Magazine, as he scanned the mass of patrons that descended onto PJ tonight. I could only nod my head in agreement.

Psychic Jack will open its doors for business one final time tomorrow, Saturday.



PSYCHIC JACK
1/F, 30-32 Wyndham Street
Central, Hong Kong

NICOLE SCHERZINGER // RIGHT THERE

Me like the way that you hold my body 

Me like the way that you touch my body 

Me like the way that you kiss my yeah yeah yeah yeah me like it 

Me like the way that he put it on me 

Me like the way that he push up on me 

Me like the way that he goin' down down down down down 

I aint never gonna let no girl take him from me 

Never gonna let no girl steal him from me 

Never gonna let a girl get that close now 

I tell'em hey babe your'e too close now 

Come here baby and be my baby 

And be my baby oh oh oh 

Come here baby put your hands on my body 

Hands on my body oh oh oh 

Right there keep it right there 

I love when you put it right there 

yeah yeah yeah oh oh oh yeah yeah yeah oh oh oh 

Yeah...

  

// CHRIS & 

THE HYPERACTIVE GAY BOY™ //

MARIAH CAREY // TOUCH MY BODY

CHRIS COMES HOME TONIGHT.

THAT'S ALL.

// THE HYPERACTIVE GAY BOY™ //

PATTI AUSTIN // IF I BELIEVE (LIVE)

Had a chat with Chris today whilst he was at his brother's farm, somewhere in Melbourne. Wonderful to hear him relaxed and happy and recharged after a week with family and friends. He's now on his way back to Canberra.

More than two months after he left Hong Kong, we're still OK - individually, and together. More than anything, this is a relief. It validates our 6 years of togetherness; that we've built something with a strong foundation; that we can share our lives with each other, even though we're apart. 

If I believed in paradise 
I'd swear I must be there 
I'd swear I must be there right now with you...

Miss Patti, we agree - this is indeed one of the prettiest songs ever written.

Happy Sunday, everyone!

    // THE HYPERACTIVE GAY BOY™ //

JESSICA PARE // ZOU BISOU BISOU

DIDN'T THIS JUST MAKE YOU SMILE? 

 TGIF, BITCHIZ!

<3

SELENA GOMEZ // COME AND GET IT

GOING TO SRI LANKA NEXT MONTH TO RENDEZVOUS WITH CHRIS.

FIRST TIME IN SOUTH ASIA...

LOOKING FORWARD TO 

GOLDEN BEACHES

AQUAMARINE SANDS

NOISE

COLOUR 

A CHAOTIC CITYSCAPE 
THAT'S JUST AS UNTAMED AS WILD NATURE ITSELF

MUSIC

FOOD

PARADISE

LOVE.

Happy Monday, bitchiz!

  

// THE HYPERACTIVE GAY BOY™ //

DO YOU WANT THE TRUTH OR SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL?

"He was too honest," Mark said. "I'm mad that he told me the truth."

Knowledge of the truth not only inspires, but compels, action. In Mark's case, the truth is that someone he was dating is now dating someone else. This is made all the more complicated by Mark's location (Kuala Lumpur) and his boy's (Macau). Prior to Mark, the boy also had a BF based in Germany whom the boy just recently visited. They broke up because - you guessed it -  the boy told his BF the truth about Mike.

And because Mark now knows the truth about the boy's commitment (mainly, that there's no commitment), he has no more excuse to visit Macau. Mark is spending the long weekend right here in good, old Hong Kong.

"I'll go shopping," Mark said. "I also need to see my tailor and get some new shirts made, anyway..."  

Here are 3 truths. (1) Mark got "together" with the boy when the boy was still attached to someone else. (2) Clearly, the boy has no problem repeating this sort of experience. (3) After all, he's only 24. As one does at that age, he most likely collects fuck buddies - even better if they're based overseas because it allows him to enjoy something beautiful, on his own terms entirely.

Have a beautiful weekend, bitchiz!

TRUTH: HE'S MINE. BUT HE'S NOT HERE. HE'S IN BUMFUCK CANBERRA.
SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL:  HE CLEARLY IS, BITCHIZ!

// JAMES & CHRIS //

       

TOYS

 

What else can you do about sex when, like me, you're alone-but-not-single?

"I like having sex with someone I love," Ron, one of my former theatre mentors once said. "Me."

Indeed, masturbation is a good substitute for sex. Sometimes it can even be better than the real thing because only you know best how to push your own buttons! But throughout the six years we've been together, Chris and I have had an awesome sex life. I'd usually demand (sometime twice, thrice a day...) and he'd usually give in. Payback is when he wants it (very early) in the morning and I'm still half-asleep. I'd then tell myself that it's show time and I gotta perform. Great fun, daily. We got to know each other's nooks and crannies really well.

So these days, I am a bit unsettled 'coz... what am I to do about physical intimacy, now?!

I decided to sort some toys out a few days ago. I went to Showtime because (a) it's close by; (b) it's private and it feels nice, not skanky; and (c) I knew the owner, Stephanie. I was certain Steph would hook me up like a pro - that is, without any sort of teasing that'd embarrass me.

She led me through some prostate massagers and butt plugs and balls and the 'Monkey Spanker' and other contraptions / gadgets / implements that would look right at home in a Chemistry lab (I think). Steph explained toy - lubricant compatibility, how to care for your toys, how to gently 'introduce' new things into the self-pleasure experience, etc. At the end of it all, I felt like I've been properly inducted. A world of difference than if I were simply let loose on my own to 'discover' what might be interesting - only to decide after half a bottle of silicone lube that the Jeff Stryker dildo is never gonna fit. For that, I'll need a new asshole. But by then, it'll have been too late.

"Show me what you got," my friend Peter asked.

"No," I  replied. "I'm not showing you things that go into my body."

"Well, you always share your food photos!"

"...you do have a point there..."

But I'm still not sharing!






          

The Diva Video Of The Day™ Diana King / Shy Guy (OST Bad Boys II)

I know that I'll be bored with my own company soon enough. But for now, I am finding new ways to enjoy having a space just for myself.

I may now play music in the morning without having to put my headphones on.

I also realized I don't have to open all the windows when I'm cooking adobo. I can trap the delicious, garlicky aroma inside the flat if I so wish.

I may altogether avoid watching "important" films, such as Memento or Lincoln or The Master. I may watch one silly 90s action movie after another, full volume, until my Hyperactive brain is fried. Oops. Too late. Brain's already burnt to a crisp.

Why aren't there any more movies like Bad Boys, where everything explodes?

Why aren't there more genre-defying pop ditties like Shy Guy?

    

// THE HYPERACTIVE GAY BOY™ //

ALONE-BUT-NOT-SINGLE

"I'M GOING HOME! I NEED TO PROCESS THIS EXPERIENCE!"

Just came back from the Les Peches party at Bisous. It was so fun. There were loads of lesbians (duh!). But tonight the peaches managed to draw more than the usual number of gay boys. Kudos to PR mavens Betty and Abby, the power couple behind Les Peches.

There were so many gorgeous guys tonight, my eyes were popping out of my head.

"I'm gonna get in trouble!" I yelled above the music towards my friend, Tia. "There are too many good looking boys!"

"Are they all gay?!" Tia asked.

"Of course," I replied authoritatively.

"How can you tell?!"

"By the smell!!"

"What do they smell like?"

"They smell good. And they have an aura. They leave a cloud of pixie dust in their wake."

OK, my explanation totally came out of my nose.

Truth is, I was just googly-eyed at the perfect faces, perfect bodies and perfect butts that paraded endlessly  before me. It reminded me too much of having been single - ages ago! - when I'd go to clubs for a little bit of boogie and a whole lot of booty to take home. But not only am I out of practice. I'm also not single.

And honestly, the thought of having to approach one of these boys for a conversation just scared the shiznit out of me. I mean, what would I say? "May I buy you a drink?" "Nice party!" "Is that Prada?" 

I wanted to barf.

There's a reason why Chris and I have been together for almost six years. I love having that part of my life sorted out - even better, with a man who is just so perfectly handsome, sexy, dependable, intelligent, down to earth, understanding, supportive, kindhearted, et cetera. I think Chris might have also seen some possibilities with me, otherwise he wouldn't have put up with me all this time!

It's been almost a month since he left for Canberra. We communicate everyday through Skype, Whatsapp and Viber.

I do miss having him beside me.

But I know that even if he's not here, he's with me.