KOREA QUEER FESTIVAL 2013

PHOTO FROM ASSOCIATED PRESS

Yesterday I was riveted to a photo of two, mature Asian men kissing whilst thumbing through the main broadsheet of the South China Morning Post. It was of South Korean filmmaker Kim Jho Gwang-soo and his partner of nine years, announcing plans to marry. It's a bid to pry the closet open in this super conservative country where homosexuality is still taboo and hate crimes against gays are commonplace. (I was stunned to hear some of the awful stories my brother-in-law, Ronnie, shared from his days in the military.)

I was captivated by the pic because older Asian gay couples have grown so used to discrimination, any display of public affection would be considered dangerous - even irresponsible. The only other Korean celebrity to have come out was actor Hong Seok-Cheon, way back in 2000 - 13 long years ago! He now says he regrets his decision because work promptly dried up. But, hello - he has since turned his fate around by founding a restaurant empire! I got to try two of his places out - fab, as you would expect from an A-List gay entrepreneur-slash-taste maker.

So anyway, the LGBT movement in Korea seems to be at a turning point. The Korea Queer Festival, which takes place over a 16-day (!!) period,  is ongoing and includes performances, parties and a parade. One of the parties takes place at Condom Cafe (!!!). For that alone, I want to go back to Seoul NOW.

It'd be nice to have a Mr Gay Korea competition be part of the KQF, too. But I don't really have the bandwidth for that. Duh - as if it's not hard enough to mount a Mr Gay HK competition yearly! I must content myself with visiting my nephew, Robin, for now, in the hopes that Korean LGBTs emulate Kim Jho Gwang-soo en masse soon. Only after Korean LGBTs realize that coming out can be a cool thing could a Mr Gay competition finally fly.

Brava to Kim Jho Gwang-soo and his gentleman-love. Hopefully this grand gesture leads to an easing up of homophobic views not just in Korea, but throughout the rest of the world. I think it was John Lennon who once questioned why we conduct violent warfare openly but we make love in secret - how the hell does that make sense?? Or something to that effect.

More PDA, please!

HOME.

THE LITTLE HOUSE IN WOODBERRY
AS IT LOOKED THEN...

HYPERACTIVE IN WOODBERRY

...AND AS IT LOOKS NOW.

I'm the firstborn child in a brood of six. Six!!! From Tuguegarao, I moved to Manila when I was 16 to study theatre in Ateneo. My other siblings soon followed. From a little dorm room, I moved to a bigger one to share with my sister, Diva. When Teri and Loren joined us, we had to move yet again to a larger place. I realized then that as long as we didn't own our own place, my parents are sentenced to monthly payments on rental properties for many more years to come. 

In 2005, I was recruited to be a part of Hong Kong Disneyland's Grand Opening Team. Performing in a Disney theme park - surely that's a dream job! I was ecstatic. And like any good Pinoy son, I dutifully saved my Disney dollars until I felt I had enough to make a down payment on a family home. I then passed the money to my mum, who promptly started house hunting.

In 2007, we broke ground on Woodberry subdivision in Antipolo. We were the first to do so. I knew little about the area; I knew even less about the development plan. It was enough for me that mum fell in love with Antipolo and with the idea of Woodberry. She saw promise where, in fact, there was nothing more than acres of grass. Our house stood alone for quite a while. I wondered whether we'd get any neighbours at all apart from the stray cats that always seemed to know when we'd be getting rid of dinner leftovers.

But really, my life is in Hong Kong. I don't remember much more about Woodberry. Out of all of us, I spent the least amount of time there. Often, I struggled with mortgage. I questioned why I've committed a huge chunk of my monthly budget to something I couldn't immediately benefit from. Meanwhile, there were holidays I wished I could have taken, clothes and gadgets I had hoped to purchase, ridiculously chic restaurants I desperately wanted to try. It's too easy to focus on what you can't have when you're fabulously trying to make ends meet. I've had to count on mortgage rescue packages from Diva and my parents on some months when it was just too impossible for me to figure things out. I dread to think of what might have been if I didn't have that financial support system.

Today, Woodberry is fully populated.

But our family home is now empty.

Diva is back in the Philippines after years of gorgeous travel on some of the world's biggest cruise ships. Teri is in Korea with her family, keeping us posted daily on Robin's well being. And my youngest sister is still 'Teacher Loren' to Singlish-speaking Singaporean tots. 

Igi is housed in the Rogationist seminary in Cavite, where he will soon take the next step towards priesthood. Vincent, our youngest, is still in Tuguegarao, studying to become a veterinarian. My parents might have promised to buy him a car if chose to pursue his degree at the local university... But I don't think Vincent's really counting on owning a car until he is able to afford it himself.

I'm still in Hong Kong - alone, but not single - and very much at home.

Yesterday, I received news that the house in Woodberry has been sold.

"You're a millionaire!" my parents enthused. 

I could weep, celebrate, collapse, do a little jig.

I may not have spent a lot of time in Woodberry. But it served its purpose for me, as I hope it had for my siblings.

It watched me grow.

'MY NOODLE' & 'MY THAI' BY HONG SEOK-CHEON

HONG SEOK-CHEON.
I, TOO, WOULD LIKE TO HAVE MY FACE RENDERED JUST SO AT THE ENTRANCE OF MY RESTAURANT.

OOPS.
HAVEN'T GOT ONE.

RONNIE, TERI & ROBIN

UNCLE JAMES AND SLEEPY ROBIN

SO WANTED TO STEAL THOSE
BUT THEY WOULDN'T FIT IN MY HANDBAG.

LIFE IMITATES ART.

THIS PIECE IS SO RANDOM,
BUT WHO THE FUCK CARES?
AS LONG AS SHE LOOKS FABULOUS.

THOSE PRAWNS WERE FABULOUS.

AND SO WAS THIS OVERCOOKED RICE DISH  -
CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE IT?

SOME SORT OF 'MILITARY BISCUIT.'
MM-HM, I BET IT IS!

MY THAI

HYPERACTIVE JAMES AND THE BEAUTIFUL JEDA

There's only one out n' proud gay Korean celeb. His name is Hong Seok-Cheon. He owns restaurants all over the city that, together, make a daily turnover of KRW10,000,000. Really not bad.  

His restaurants are pretty. Lots of personal touches in the decor. Ronnie, Teri and Robin took me to My Noodle  for lunch; my dear friend, Jeda, would later take me to My Thai for dinner.

There's plenty of natural light in both venues. Casual dining, great atmosphere, friendly service, seamless table turnover. Teri was tickled pink when our server brought a complimentary drink "for the baby." Robin hadn't even yet started drinking milk from the bottle, but the gesture was heartwarming anyway.

Food was tasty but a bit on the pricey side, so I was horrified when Ronnie wouldn't let me contribute towards our lunch bill. I knew I had the most to eat; I always do.

"You can pick up the tab," he said with a twinkle in his eye, "when we visit Hong Kong."    

Jeda wouldn't let me pay for dinner, either; I must have had six bottles of Beer Chang with our chicken wings and spicy beef salad! She raced against me to the cash register and handed her credit card over whilst I fumbled with the unfamiliar Korean won in my wallet.
      
I didn't get to do much sightseeing in Seoul. I was in and out in two days, on shitty flight schedules besides.      

But I got to see and talk and touch and play and laugh and eat with loved ones.

Mission accomplished.

WINTER BABY

 

My nephew, Robin, was born in Seoul on the 3rd of December 2012, in sub-zero conditions. We're tickled of course, since, except for my mom who's Chinese and Robin's dad, who's Korean, we're all proud, tropical creatures. We've only ever known Cagayan Valley, where the sun's glorious heat is forever trapped between the Cordillera and Sierra Madre mountain ranges. It's like living in a greenhouse all year round. Robin, in contrast, is a winter baby - our family's first and only.

I can't even explain the joy I felt when Robin was born. His mother - my sister, Teri -  documented Robin's birth every step of the way. She must have had her smartphone on her side whilst she was in labor. The entire family was on mobile group chat, volleying excited text messages, photos, videos, prayers...

Chris' pic used to be my iPhone wallpaper. Now, it's Robin. I kiss Robin's pic every day.

I'm unlikely to have kids of my own. I'm much too scared that I'll have to raise someone exactly like me. It's not that I turned out horrible. I know I didn't. I just... don't know how my parents managed to put up with all my shit whilst I was growing up. Hell, they still put up with my shit from time to time - up to this day!

"Isn't it wonderful," I texted my mom, "that the child you raised now has a child of her own? Doesn't this validate all the values we treasure as a family?"

Robin may not be my child. But he's every inch my baby.

My winter baby.