"Last year, some guys were making each other drink beer from a shoe," Anna quipped.
"Ooh," I shuddered.
I saw a man in a white unitard pee against the wall. I took a video:
We started out quite civilized, actually - in a super exclusive corporate box.
And then things got better.
Somehow - and don't ask me how - we managed to cut through the line to the the notorious South Stand, where things got from hairy to hairier.
"Go away," Anna slapped the grubby hands of someone who tried to grab our styrofoam of takeaway chilli fried chicken.
"Hands on your cock, boys," a man queued for the toilets instructed, to the howls of approval from the male horde. "That's what you came here for!"
In front of me was a detached toilet seat. Behind me, someone puked.
"Pick me up," I texted Jaakko. "I can't find you guys, I'm between 118 and 119."
It was like an acid fantasy - colourful, trippy, nightmarish, fun.
And through it all, I managed to stay sober enough - I promise - to actually take notes. Here are...
Astron's Top 5 Rundown™ of Best SEVENS Costumes:
05 Burly gweilo dressed as a nun went to the urinals, lifted his habit and peed.
04 Three hairy frat boys dressed as Pam Anderson in Baywatch.
03 Fat gweilos dressed as a corps de ballet: 4 as the White Swan; 4 as the Black Swan.
02 Three bald gweilos dressed as Wonder Woman.
01 Four gweilos dressed up as refrigerators. They couldn't move.
In the end, I must have finished - oh, who knows! - a keg of beer.
I am Asia's Most Hyperactive Gay Boy™, and I'm hooked on the Hong Kong Sevens.
With Affection,
James
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