KOREA QUEER FESTIVAL 2013

PHOTO FROM ASSOCIATED PRESS

Yesterday I was riveted to a photo of two, mature Asian men kissing whilst thumbing through the main broadsheet of the South China Morning Post. It was of South Korean filmmaker Kim Jho Gwang-soo and his partner of nine years, announcing plans to marry. It's a bid to pry the closet open in this super conservative country where homosexuality is still taboo and hate crimes against gays are commonplace. (I was stunned to hear some of the awful stories my brother-in-law, Ronnie, shared from his days in the military.)

I was captivated by the pic because older Asian gay couples have grown so used to discrimination, any display of public affection would be considered dangerous - even irresponsible. The only other Korean celebrity to have come out was actor Hong Seok-Cheon, way back in 2000 - 13 long years ago! He now says he regrets his decision because work promptly dried up. But, hello - he has since turned his fate around by founding a restaurant empire! I got to try two of his places out - fab, as you would expect from an A-List gay entrepreneur-slash-taste maker.

So anyway, the LGBT movement in Korea seems to be at a turning point. The Korea Queer Festival, which takes place over a 16-day (!!) period,  is ongoing and includes performances, parties and a parade. One of the parties takes place at Condom Cafe (!!!). For that alone, I want to go back to Seoul NOW.

It'd be nice to have a Mr Gay Korea competition be part of the KQF, too. But I don't really have the bandwidth for that. Duh - as if it's not hard enough to mount a Mr Gay HK competition yearly! I must content myself with visiting my nephew, Robin, for now, in the hopes that Korean LGBTs emulate Kim Jho Gwang-soo en masse soon. Only after Korean LGBTs realize that coming out can be a cool thing could a Mr Gay competition finally fly.

Brava to Kim Jho Gwang-soo and his gentleman-love. Hopefully this grand gesture leads to an easing up of homophobic views not just in Korea, but throughout the rest of the world. I think it was John Lennon who once questioned why we conduct violent warfare openly but we make love in secret - how the hell does that make sense?? Or something to that effect.

More PDA, please!

MY SEOUL BENDER

// IT WAS THE ONLY WAY TO ENSURE 

I WAS AWAKE FOR MY 4.30AM PICK-UP 

FOR MY FLIGHT. //

THANKS TO RONNIE FOR DRIVING ME ALL THE WAY TO THE AIRPORT.

THANKS TO TERI FOR THE NEVERENDING PHONE CALLS  TO SEE WHETHER OR NOT I WAS STILL ALIVE.

THANKS TO ROBIN FOR THE GOOD VIBES, IN GENERAL!

'MY NOODLE' & 'MY THAI' BY HONG SEOK-CHEON

HONG SEOK-CHEON.
I, TOO, WOULD LIKE TO HAVE MY FACE RENDERED JUST SO AT THE ENTRANCE OF MY RESTAURANT.

OOPS.
HAVEN'T GOT ONE.

RONNIE, TERI & ROBIN

UNCLE JAMES AND SLEEPY ROBIN

SO WANTED TO STEAL THOSE
BUT THEY WOULDN'T FIT IN MY HANDBAG.

LIFE IMITATES ART.

THIS PIECE IS SO RANDOM,
BUT WHO THE FUCK CARES?
AS LONG AS SHE LOOKS FABULOUS.

THOSE PRAWNS WERE FABULOUS.

AND SO WAS THIS OVERCOOKED RICE DISH  -
CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE IT?

SOME SORT OF 'MILITARY BISCUIT.'
MM-HM, I BET IT IS!

MY THAI

HYPERACTIVE JAMES AND THE BEAUTIFUL JEDA

There's only one out n' proud gay Korean celeb. His name is Hong Seok-Cheon. He owns restaurants all over the city that, together, make a daily turnover of KRW10,000,000. Really not bad.  

His restaurants are pretty. Lots of personal touches in the decor. Ronnie, Teri and Robin took me to My Noodle  for lunch; my dear friend, Jeda, would later take me to My Thai for dinner.

There's plenty of natural light in both venues. Casual dining, great atmosphere, friendly service, seamless table turnover. Teri was tickled pink when our server brought a complimentary drink "for the baby." Robin hadn't even yet started drinking milk from the bottle, but the gesture was heartwarming anyway.

Food was tasty but a bit on the pricey side, so I was horrified when Ronnie wouldn't let me contribute towards our lunch bill. I knew I had the most to eat; I always do.

"You can pick up the tab," he said with a twinkle in his eye, "when we visit Hong Kong."    

Jeda wouldn't let me pay for dinner, either; I must have had six bottles of Beer Chang with our chicken wings and spicy beef salad! She raced against me to the cash register and handed her credit card over whilst I fumbled with the unfamiliar Korean won in my wallet.
      
I didn't get to do much sightseeing in Seoul. I was in and out in two days, on shitty flight schedules besides.      

But I got to see and talk and touch and play and laugh and eat with loved ones.

Mission accomplished.

HOMO HILL

YES, PLEASE.
I LIKE THIS PLACE ALREADY.

DON'T YOU MEAN "BEARS," HUN?

FROCKS FOR HOOKERS AND/OR DRAG QUEENS, APPARENTLY.

WHY WOULD I BUY AN AUSSIE MEAT PIE
WHEN I ALREADY HAVE ONE?

PINOYS WILL CONQUER THE WORLD
ONE KITCHEN AT A TIME.

SELF-PORTRAIT AT CLUB CIRCUIT.

LOOK AT THAT MERMAID WITH THE FUNNY HAIR.
GIRL, GET TO WERQ!

THAT'S WHAT I SAID.

WHO, ME?

OK.
WHERE'S THE FORK?

YOU CAN BE SURE ABOUT THAT.

AND DOES 'TMB' STAND FOR 'TOO MANY BOTTOMS' ?

THIS ONE LOOKS LIKE IT COULD BE FUN.

IS THIS WHERE ALL OF SEOUL'S TOPS HANG OUT?
OR IS THIS JUST A CLEVER PLOY TO GET THE BOTTOMS IN?

Itaewon is apparently considered seedy. I could have been fooled. I felt right at home. But maybe that's coz I'm a trash bag.

The neighbourhood is home to many of Seoul's Muslims, its hookers and the homos. Why and how the three groups came together in that specific area, I can only guess.

A row of old, cement buildings line the main drag. The structures are clearly ancient, but the shops that now occupy them have made the effort to spruce things up a bit. Fake Goyards are sold on the pavement in front of an expensive French bakery. Koreans have a flawless sense of irony.

There are cafes of course, the obligatory Irish pub, a German beer bar, a couple of restaurants by gay Korean celeb Hong Seok-cheon (more about that on another entry) and a few kebab-erias. I walked along all these with little notice because my destination was Homo Hill.  

It was dead.

There was no sign of life, except a guy peeing against an electrical post. How... primitive! I instantly fell in love. I had the entire gay village all to myself.

Homo Hill is a steep and narrow alley that's parallel to Hooker Hill. You'll know Hooker Hill immediately; the biggest night club is called Rio but the hookers inside are Russian, not Brazilian. This is all made clear on the club's signage.

At 5pm, none of the bars have so much as moved a stool or switched on a light bulb. Why is Happy Hour not de rigeur here?!

I can only imagine how this place heaves when the homos and the hookers finally get their lazy asses off the bed to do some real werq on the meanest streets of Seoul. The Muslims - they were awake.

The Diva Video Of The Day™ D'SOUND / Tattooed On My Mind (LIVE)

There's a bit of funky singing here. But when a song is this complex, who are we, mere mortals, to complain? If anything, the occasional sour note only emphasizes the difficulty of performing such an ambitious piece. Listen. There are entire universes and ecosystems and musical movements and rainbows in this piece. And it's packaged as pop. Europop!


Oh, Yesterday, I was feelin' safe, oh 
All I do today is tryin' to be BRAVE
and no melody can seem to suit my mind...
and now I curse you for being so sweet and so kind

And I can't get you out of my dreams
Now I know that you're a dangerous kind
And your face is tattooed on my mind
And I can't get you out of my dreams..

Yes I know you're tattooed
On my mind you're tattooed 


It's masterfully arranged and produced!

Photo below has nothing to do with the song. Just wanted to share, coz it was beautiful to have been welcomed like family into the Rohs' home. All I had to repay their warmth and hospitality was a box of moon cakes and some crispy pork floss.

Can't wait for next time!

SPREAD PREPARED BY GRANDMA ROH
AND MY SISTER, TERI.

THEY FUSSED ABOUT HAVING TO FEED ME A HOME COOKED MEAL BECAUSE --

"WHEN WILL WE HAVE THE CHANCE TO HAVE HIM HERE AGAIN?"

  

  // TRADITIONAL KOREAN DINNER 

AT THE ROHS' HOME //

SEOUL INSIDE X OUTSIDE

BUNK BEDS IN A GUEST HOUSE

A TOWER SEEMINGLY MOULDED FROM FLUID, UNDULATING STEEL AND GLASS

A WOODEN CABINET

BLOOMS,
AT ONCE DELICATE AND STURDY

SCHOOL BUS BOOK SHELF

POSTER ON THE METRO
FOR A KOREAN PRODUCTION
OF AN ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER MUSICAL

HYPERACTIVE x ROBIN IN A SUPERMARKET

MUM TERI x ROBIN
IN ITAEWON

Seoul is a funny place. Not funny in a ha-ha-that's-hilarious kind of way, but in an I-can't-quite-make-sense-of-it-so-I'll-just-giggle-like-a-bimbo-coz-at-least-everything-looks-pretty-anyway kind of way.

Outside, you'd be impressed - intimidated, even. Seoul has the hubris of a completely globalized, first world, capital city.

"It feels even more high-tech than Japan," I murmured, looking at the ginormous, cinema-quality LG billboards exploding to life in brilliant colour and rich images.

"Japan's global brand is Sony," my sister explained, pointing out a few more billboards. "Korea's is Samsung. And Hyundai. And LG. And..."

I got her point. In some ways, it seems as though Japan hadn't made it past the Industrial Revolution. Korea, meanwhile, is so very current.

Inside is a completely different story. Indoor spaces are cavernous. They're quiet, dark, undisturbed. I guess you might describe them as peaceful. Like catacombs. Silence is menacing, at least to me. Dangerous. There's widespread manifestation of seething discontent, but too impotent to simmer to the surface. It's the Koreans' ascribed submission to tradition. Unconditional. It then made the modernity, image and ambition of their capital city look woefully cosmetic, because inside, people's spirits were dying en masse. And I couldn't justifiably pinpoint why or what for. 

"The people who may express an alternative, progressive lifestyle in the way they present themselves are usually the ones who are most indoctrinated in tradition," my sister explained.

I enjoyed Seoul thoroughly. In fact, I can't wait to return. Two days just weren't enough.

I only hope I that what I've written here - indeed, my un-silent-ness - doesn't get me banned.