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| Uhm, yeah. Hong Kong so toxic, you need detox, like, regularly. |
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| Isagenix Isalean Shake |
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| Isagenix "Brownies." These are strangely yummy. |
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| These are speedy and are totally legal. I can take 5 per day. Squee! Hyperactive! Hyperactive! Hyperactive! |
"Your shit will turn green," my friend Yu Ann, who is gloriously pregnant, warned me when I told her I was on detox.
"Girleeeen," Mike whined, "what is this? Start this stupid detox tomorrow!!!"
"What made you do it?" Ralion asked.
I showed him my pants. The top button is undone.
OK, maybe I need bigger pants (and I do), but my waistline shouldn't have to be 38 inches, which it is. I was faced with the horrible truth when I went to the tailors' to have a tuxedo made. The next day, Detox Diva Deborah Dewey whipped out her measuring tape for our initial consultation and confirmed the horrific measurement. So it wasn't just gas. I'm really fat.
"You're a bit overweight," Deborah said. "Your BMI is 28. Ideally, you'd like to be at 25 or below."
Shocking.
But what's even more shocking is, I passed out in the disabled wash room during a charity auction dinner due to extreme intoxication. When I woke up, everyone was gone. I missed the auction - and dessert!
"After detox," I asked Deborah, "can I retox?"
"Sure can," she replied. "Life is about balance."
I like this lady!
Day 1 on Detox was fine. I had a shake, 2 "brownies" and a natural accelerator for breakfast.
I had eggs and a natural accelerator for lunch.
I had 2 more "brownies" as a snack and another accelerator in the afternoon.
I'm not saying what I had for dinner.
// PLEASE DON'T TEMPT ME;
I'M ON DETOX. //
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