I love beauty queens, honestly. There's nothing more camp than beauty pageants. The only thing bigger than pageant hair and pageant gowns are pageant boobs. Besides that, everything else is small - pageant waistlines, pageant thighs, and, most of the time, even pageant brains.
But small is adorable. And as long as a girl has a big smile that comes from within, that's all matters. Good looks can only take you so far; it's all about inner beauty, right? Am I not completely sold on this shit? No, really. Besides, who am I to resist "World Peace" ?
American girls are infamously deep fried and Venezuelan girls are infamously altered. Filipino girls get infamously tongue-tied and French girls just infamously don't care.
Of all breeds of pageant beauties, I am most impressed by the Indian girls. They have such an enigmatic look about them - a quiet magnetism. A beautiful serenity. Indian girls "float" over the competition as though it were all beneath them, and that's, like, so dope. Sort of like, "Step aside, bitches. Let mama get to the microphone and show you all how it's done."
Miss Universe 1995. Windhoek, Namibia.
Miss India, Manpreet Brar, was asked: If you find yourself in a situation where you are discriminated against because of race, what would you do?
Her answer: If your back is bent, only then will somebody climb on it. So stand up, stand up straight. And nobody will ever climb your back.
Pow!
So, Indian girls are fierce and take pageants to a totally different level.
In the lead up to this year's Miss India, a fresh faced beauty immediately caught my attention.
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| Who is she? I am she? |
Her name is Kanishtha Dhankar, I found out soon enough, through my network of pageant friends. Kanistha has then held on to my attention, bitch-slapping me every now and again with fabulous photo after fabulous photo. She's almost an anti-pageant girl. Her looks are not exactly offbeat, but her angular features are unusual enough to keep me enthralled.
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| Excuse me while I werq. |
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| Did you say angles? Let me give you angles. |
Sister won the whole thing, natch, and will now represent India in Miss World, which is scheduled to take place in London later this year. And I'm feeling really good because I spotted something special in this girl straight away, and it seems I'm right (but of course).
My dear friend, Albin, has since fed my Kanishtha infatuation (coz the only kind of girls I get stupidly infatuated with are the pageant kind) with a steady stream of photographs. And until I get to meet Kanishtha in the flesh, I've decided to create imaginary conversations with her. It's a bit creepy, but hello, isn't that the nature of being a fan?
The conversations happen in more than just your run-of-the-mill word bubbles, mind you; these are pageant girl bubbles. I've given Kanishtha some fierce "Beauty Bubbles."
Ready for some fun?
Let's go!
With Affection,
James
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