NORDIC EXPRESS AT FINDS BY JAAKKO SORSA

FAT BIRD MADE FROM HANDBLOWN GLASS.
I WANTED TO TAKE IT HOME.

AND THAT OH-SO-CLASSIC IITTALA CANDLE HOLDER, TOO.

NAPKINS ROLLED AND SECURED WITH A FINDS RIBBON!

HOW PRETTY ARE THESE PLATES, SERIOUSLY?

THAT'S ME - HYPERACTIVE!

MENU + ILLUSTRATED MAP OF SCANDINAVIA WITH 'PIN DROPS' ON PLACES WHERE DISHES ON THE NORDIC EXPRESS MENU ORIGINATED. 

THIN RYE CRISPS SERVED ON A BRANCH OF A BIRCH TREE -
BECAUSE WHY NOT?

OH!
BREADS IN A BOX!

TWO KINDS OF BUTTER: REGULAR AND SMOKED (?!).
THESE BALLS HAD A COOL, FLUFFY, AND ALMOST MOUSSE-LIKE TEXTURE. 

OH, THOSE CRISPS.
NOW, THEY'RE ON MY PLATE!

'LIFE OF ARCTIC CHAR' -
FROM ROE TO CRISPY SKIN!

SEXY SMORREBROD
TOPPED WITH GOLDEN VENDACE ROE ON SMOKED EEL.

KINDA REMINDS ME OF THE BIRTH OF VENUS BY BOTTICELLI.

MORE DANISH GOODNESS, ALL IN A ROW -
INCLUDING A PORK RILLETTE DISH THAT THE PRINCESS OF DENMARK APPARENTLY HAD THREE PORTIONS OF WHEN SHE WAS OVER AT FINDS FOR A MEAL.

BY THIS POINT, I HAD STOPPED TO CARE ABOUT THE DISHES' NAMES.
I WAS TOO BUSY ENJOYING THE PARTY IN MY MOUTH.

I DO REMEMBER, THOUGH, THAT EACH MORSEL OF PATE WAS TOPPED WITH ROWANBERRY JELLY THAT JAAKKO AND HIS MOM MADE WITH THEIR OWN HANDS. 

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB;
JAMESIE HAD A LITTLE BITE.

AND I WANTED TO TAKE THAT WOODEN SERVING BOARD HOME WITH ME. 

JUNIPER-SMOKED QUAIL-EGG YOLK ?!?!?!??!!

MY BRAIN WAS STILL IN OVERDRIVE,
WONDERING WHAT KIND OF EXPERIENCES IT TAKES TO ADVANCE ONE'S PALATE TOWARDS DREAMING UP SUCH FLAVOUR COMBINATIONS, COOKING TECHNIQUES AND FUCK-OFF FABULOUS PRESENTATION.

OH YEAH - THIS WAS A SOUP. I HAD ALMOST FORGOTTEN.
BROTH IS MADE WITH WILD CHANTERELLES,
FINISHED OFF WITH A FLUFFY CLOUD OPF CHILLED POTATO CREME.

THAT GLACIER-INSPIRED SOUP BOWL WAS SO PRETTY, TOO,
CAN YOU GUESS WHAT I DESPERATELY WANTED TO DO WITH IT?

TAKE . IT . HOME.  

MACKEREL FISH BALLS SERVED ON HOT STONES.

BEER IS POURED OVER SUPER-HOT STONES -
CREATING A SIZZLING, AROMATIC BROTH THAT QUICKLY BATHES THE BALLS AND COOKS 'EM.

IT'S A SHOW.

HELLOOO THERE,
CHILLED, LITTLE CRAYFISH.

I'M ABOUT TO EAT YOU NOW!

OH.
I'M MEANT TO HAVE IT ON A PERFECTLY OVAL PIECE OF TOAST....?

BUT I DON'T DO CARBS.

JAAKKO'S SPIN ON THE HUMBLE 'BEEF RYDBERG' -
VENISON RYDBERG!

THOSE VENISON TENDERLOIN MEDALLIONS WERE SO PEFECTLY COOKED,
I SWOONED WITH EACH MOUTHFUL. THE FLESH HAD AN ALMOST VELVETY TEXTURE.
DELICIOUS BEYOND BELIEF. 

VANILLA SNOWBALLS!
SERVED ON WOODEN SPOONS!
WHICH I ALSO WANTED TO TAKE HOME WITH ME!

WHAT'S A PANCAKE PARTY WITHOUT A SELECTION OF JAMS?
CLOUDBERRY, RASPBERRY, LINGONBERRY, BLUEBERRY JAMES
AND SOME COGNAC CREAM, JUST COZ!

RHUBARB!

I DIDN'T GET TO TAKE HOME ANY OF THE FANCY IITTALA STUFF.
BUT JAAKKO GAVE ME A BAG OF NORDIC CANDIES, INSTEAD!

NO CONTEST - I'LL TAKE CANDY
EVERY . SINGLE . TIME.

Anybody who knows me, knows my appetite - perhaps none better than FINDS' Executive Chef Jaakko Sorsa, himself. Jaakko is a dear friend who has generously fed me on my countless moments of desperate hunger. That's, like, every day. Five times a day. I was FINDS' Marketing & PR Manager over three years. The amount of food I've enjoyed from Jaakko's benevolence would have been enough to feed a small village throughout a season of catastrophic drought. Because of this, the mere sight of Jaakko sends my dopamine levels shooting through the roof. Jaakko's smiling face is a neurotransmitter that tells me I won't simply be eating; I'm going to feast. Therefore, I'm a terrible critic when it comes to Jaakko's food.

I am not a real food critic, either. I'm just a food addict. That's why I got myself a job in a restaurant, in the first place. And so while real crits may pause thoughtfully between mouthfuls to consider taste, texture, portion and presentation, I'm too busy either shoveling entire platefuls down my esophagus or wondering when the next dish is arriving.

That having been said, I have seen how Jaakko's food has evolved and matured to a point where he's serving up complex Northern European dishes as though they were chapters in a whimsical Nordic fairy tale.

"This could have gotten so old, so quickly," I whispered to Adele Wong, HK Mag's dining and lifestyle editor. "I usually think food that requires an introduction - or a set of instructions on how to eat, much less! - is too pretentious for me to eat. I'd rather die from hunger than order a dish whose name I can't pronounce. Just sayin'."

OK, so that last line was a total lie. I'd eat anything. Besides - let's be honest - who knows a lot about Nordic gastronomic tradition, anyway? Not me. And as iconic as FINDS is - its 10th anniversary comes up in spring 2014 - it's not exactly propped up by a cottage industry of Nordic product and service providers that all together help to educate an entire populace. Aside from FINDS, the only other Nordic brands I have relationships with are H&M and Ikea.

Nordic Express is a 12-course magnum opus through Finland, Iceland, Norway, Denmark, Sweden and Lapland. The menu is presented with an illustrated map featuring with a "pin drop" on where dishes on the menu come from. Jaakko then introduces each dish with a story - about the ingredients, about the fishermen, about a country's history and culture - often, personal. The rowanberry jelly that comes with wild game pate was made just 10 days prior to our meal, by Jaakko and his mom.

The food is delicious.

The style - eye-popping, whimsical, fresh, enjoyable, incredible. Nordic topography comes alive on the table, with rocks, branches of birch, moss and herbs so supple, they might as well have been picked from Jaakko's garden mere minutes before they were served.

I've never experienced anything like it before.

I know FINDS intimately; I helped shape (rescue?) it. It has had its moments of identity crises. That tends to happen when a brand starts off with three (!!!) managing directors, a very strong general manager, and a genius in the kitchen. Who prevails, and when?

Nordic Express is the journey we've been waiting for all this time. It has just the one train driver. His name is Jaakko.

It has taken almost a decade to get here.

And it's worth the wait.

FINDS is back.



FINDS
1F The Luxe Manor
39 Kimberley Road
Tsim Sha Tsui, Kowloon
T +852 2522 9318
E reservations@finds.com.hk

BREAKOUT

I've been trying to write a piece on DJ Stonedog's Big Gay Anthem [Club Remixes], which landed on iTunes last Saturday. But it's hard for me to find honest, supportive words without first drawing attention to a little detail that has been niggling at me as soon as I received the press kit.

DJ Stonedog is known in real life as Evan of "Joseph and Evan," one of the great partnerships without whom Hong Kong's LGBT scene wouldn't be what it is now. The pair established the original Volume nightspot in 2006 - the very place Chris and I first set eyes on each other. (Yes, I fell in love as I passed him by, on my way to the loo.)

Joseph Chan has always been the "brick and mortar" half - the partner whom guests could count on to run the venue, deal with unreliable staff, look after drunk gay boys, appease the neighbours and keep the omnipresent cops at bay with assurances that we are behaving. And if we're clearly not, we will. Fingers crossed. Joseph takes responsibility - and liability - as Managing Director of Volume Concepts.

Meanwhile, the multi-titled, multi-parenthetical, multi-slashed, multi-tasking and multi-talented Evan Steer - mercifully known to me just by the economical nickname, "Ev," - has always been the half who made sure we'd do exactly the opposite of what Joseph promised the neighbours and the cops we'd do. He's the camp, colourful and loud half. He created that unique universe of "fun, friendship and occasional fuck" we now recognize as hallmarks of our Volume experience.

We flocked on New Arrival Wednesdays for the free vodka. We glammed it up for the annual Magenta Ball. We partied all night 'til we were finally ready to Rock the Boat at Floatilla. Superstar showgirl-slash-recording artist La Chiquitta heralded an era of drag fabulousness from her Magenta throne, with Drag It On and the annual Drag Overdose charity event. Ev pulled strings behind the scenes up to a point where it was no longer humanly possible to stitch all these into who Evan Steer is, even with a splashy Creative Director title.

He was a Prospero of sorts, conjuring parties and international acts and marquee DJs to come to Volume. He whipped the crowd into a constant state of of frenzy from his perch on the DJ booth, with an artillery of unrepentant, take-me-as-I-am handbag and sing-along anthems enough for 1,978 lifetimes, wired onto a pair of obnoxiously huge, gold headphones (me = jealous) which would later become his signature. DJ Stonedog had finally broken through as a public persona - replete with an in-house record label called Volume Up Records.

In 2010, DJ Stonedog released his debut album, Club Anthems Asia - an epic, two-CD set magnum opus, for which I did a filler track called "Nothing Yet." It was scheduled to launch at a humongous event hall - AsiaWorld Expo, if I remember correctly. What I don't any more remember is the reason it got nixed and relocated back to good, old Volume, instead. Everybody showed up to support, including featured artists from Singapore, Australia, the Philippines, and only God knows where else. It was a big night for the Asian gay club scene. I was thankful to have played a small part in it, and I was extraordinarily proud of my dear friend, Ev.

Last year, I invited him to join the celebrity panel of judges tasked with selecting the 2013 Mr Gay HK.

DJ STONEDOG, HK MAGAZINE'S MANAGING EDITOR SARAH FUNG, STYLIST PRISCILLA I'ANSON,
ACTRESS / PRODUCER / BLOGGER / ACTIVIST ANGIE PALMER,  AND PINK ALLIANCE CHAIRMAN REGGIE HO. 

From just a single nightspot, Volume has grown into a brand with many distinct experiences: HEAT is a Thai-Viet bar / restaurant / gallery; BEAT is a club that's also a platform for the record label and branded live events;  and Cafe Queen is Volume's screamingly hysterical answer to Starbucks. As a collective, Volume Concepts' presence in Sheung Wan has officially turned the district into Hong Kong's Gay Ghetto. Oh Em Gee, get the PR machines rolling! We're so mainstream! Forget Spartacus; call The Hyperactive Gay Boy™! Get me Trip Advisor. Get me Travel + Leisure. Fucking get me Conde Nast!

So here's what's been disturbing me all along.

Everybody, including myself, thinks that "Joseph and Evan" - inadvertently mentioned in one breathe up to this moment, though no longer romantically linked as a couple - are a winning team. Sure, they bicker about operational issues and brand philosophy - so what? We hear all about it from everyone, all the time. It's not news when we know we'll wake up to another party weekend with more of this reliable, comforting sense of same-ness.

Except when I got the press kit for the Big Gay Anthem re-release, I immediately noticed the absence of Volume's logo on the album artwork (though the iTunes preview page still indicates ℗ 2013 Volume Up Records).

NOT JUST ANYBODY'S HANDBAG;
IT'S DJ STONEDOG'S.

Is this a hint of another breakout moment from Ev - this time, of DJ Stonedog breaking free from the increasingly defined parameters of a brand he has created, defined and embodied?

Why a re-release? And why now? The press kit says:

Just in time for Pride 2013! Hong Kong's most prolific gay circuit star DJ STONEDOG re-releases his 2012 collaboration with Dutch producer MATT POP: "Big Gay Anthem" with a slew of updated new remixes from UK's 7th's Heaven's new pop alias STARLAB, as well as remixes from WAYNE G & LFB, DJ SANTOS (USA), BRIAN CUA (Philippines) and lots more!

There's a couple of very noteworthy collaborations in there. This wasn't just a business-as-usual, let's-put-one-out-just-coz-we-gotta type of affair. Ev clearly worked overtime to make this re-release worthwhile. The cuts still showcase DJ Stonedog's  energy and frivolity and love for high camp, but now, there's more focus on high rather than on camp. Instead of giving us a thick, fat wad of gum that gets harder to chew as the night progresses, there are just (and I can't even believe I'm about to use this word) subtle throwbacks to our no-such-thing-as-too-much-Kylie days on Volume's dance floor. Enough for us to remember, but also fresh and thrilling and new enough to inspire us to dance even harder.

Something tells me DJ Stonedog didn't need a fuck-off pair of gold headphones to put this one together. There's a maturity and depth and complexity that transcends cosmetic flourishes or veneers. This makes for delicious listening many times over. Each time, a new layer of sound is revealed.

Welcome to your breakout season with the new Stonedog.

GET IT!

THE HYPERACTIVE GAY BOY™

BYE-BYE, PSYCHIC JACK.

HYPERACTIVE + CHRIS

REQUIEM FOR PSYCHIC JACK

I remember Psychic Jack well for one particular reason. The weekend they scheduled their series of launch events was the same weekend I had scheduled the inaugural edition of Mr Gay Hong Kong to take place.

I was livid. I had of course announced my pageant many months prior. But PJ's PR claimed that the owners were unaware that Mr Gay Hong Kong had already claimed the date.

I felt like a big, commercial bully was taking advantage by piggybacking on the popularity of the the weekend I had tried so hard to build up. After all, the owners of PJ also own Propaganda which, to this day, is the only gay club in Hong Kong. I was small fry.

That's why at first, I was skeptical when the PR called to request a meeting with me, on behalf of PJ's owners. What for, I wondered, and and what bargaining chip do I really have? All I had was an event which, granted, held a lot of promise. But it didn't seem to me like my date mattered any which way for businessmen who have been operating LGBT-oriented businesses for decades. Theoretically, they could do as they wish without much further consideration toward context.

But much as I had erected a fortress of hostility, I was immediately disarmed by Steven's and Lawrence's (PJ's owners) authenticity. They seemed sincere with their explanation that they simply didn't realize a major event had already been scheduled, months ago, to happen on the same weekend. They were sorry, they said, for not having done the first thing they should have: Check the LGBT calendar. If I was interested, they asked, could they perhaps offer every Mr Gay HK ticket holder a complimentary entrance to Psychic Jack? They'd then function as MGHK's de facto after-party venue.

I was caught off guard. Until then, I hadn't even considered doing an after-party - much less, adding value to every purchase made by ticket holders to my event.

I agreed.

From then on, MGHK and PJ have had a symbiotic relationship. PJ hosted the launch of Pink Dot HK, the 8th anniversary of Fruits in Suits, and even Benjie's (Mr Gay HK 23013) birthday party. It has been easy. Drama-free. Steven, Lawrence and Joe (venue manager) have been complete sweethearts.

I received the news of PJ's impending closure with not a small amount of melancholy. I'd be hard-pressed to identify any other businessmen who have invested as much into the local LGBT community as Steven and Lawrence have. Apart from supporting MGHK, they also have been loyal advertisers in Dim Sum Magazine and anchor sponsors of the HK Lesbian and Gay Film Festival. They're proper pillars of the community.

"It's a sign that people care," noted Steve Freeman, erstwhile publisher of HK Magazine, as he scanned the mass of patrons that descended onto PJ tonight. I could only nod my head in agreement.

Psychic Jack will open its doors for business one final time tomorrow, Saturday.



PSYCHIC JACK
1/F, 30-32 Wyndham Street
Central, Hong Kong

SUNDAY WITH LA CHIQUITTA AND HYPERACTIVE

HYPERACTIVE WITH A PINA COLADA
ON THE HONI HONI TERRACE

LA CHIQUITTA AND A GINORMOUS FRUIT COCKTAIL.

(WE'RE REALLY REFERRING TO THAT HUMONGOLICIOUS FRUIT COCKTAIL.
THE ONE ON THE RIGHT IS SIMPATICO MICHAEL BUSHELL. THANKS FOR SHARING, BUSHY! )

I like to keep my Sundays free from social commitments in order to prepare myself for the Hyperactive week ahead. But I made an exception last Sunday for Pink Dollar's Sunday Soiree at Honi Honi. My dear friend, Paul, was the organizer; my best friend, La Chiquitta, was the featured performer; and it was just such a refreshing type of event to have on the LGBT calendar. It was in one of Hong Kong's hottest new bars and the DJ line-up was awesome - a BIG shout out to the fabulous DJ Julez Clark, whose every thrilling track made my tush twitch with a tingling sensation! Can't believe I just said that - will someone please remind me next time that alliteration is cheap?!

I MC'd the proceedings purely by accident. Paul asked me to ask the crowd to move back so Chiquitta has space to perform. Can you guess what happened next? It was impossible to wrest the microphone away from me after just the one public service announcement. Of course I had to do a complete opening spiel.

Chiquitta's rendition of Love on Top escalated into frenzied heights of dancing, lip-syncing and head banging  with every key change. And there were, like, 78 throughout the song. By the time it ended, I was amazed that Chiquitta's eyelashes were still firmly on. The same couldn't be said about the crystals on her vajazzled hot pants; she squirted them all over the unsuspecting patrons.

Afterwards, Chiquitta and I retreated to a fire exit to tape a new Sip webisode.

"Wanna make it worthwhile?" Paul whispered into my ear.

I smiled.

I looked at the glistening, sweaty heathens dancing whilst palming huge coconut and watermelon cocktails - as though Monday were of no consequence.

"Paul," I thought, "it already is."

 

HONI HONI BAR
A: 3/F Somptueux Central 52 Wellington Street Central, Hong Kong
E: info@honihonibar.com
T: +852 2353 0885

MY SEOUL BENDER

// IT WAS THE ONLY WAY TO ENSURE 

I WAS AWAKE FOR MY 4.30AM PICK-UP 

FOR MY FLIGHT. //

THANKS TO RONNIE FOR DRIVING ME ALL THE WAY TO THE AIRPORT.

THANKS TO TERI FOR THE NEVERENDING PHONE CALLS  TO SEE WHETHER OR NOT I WAS STILL ALIVE.

THANKS TO ROBIN FOR THE GOOD VIBES, IN GENERAL!